Guest blogger today, my colleague and former business partner Kevin McGillivray. This is his “near verbatim” transcript of a phone conversation with a prospective client. So funny I wanted to share it!
Here’s a call I just had. Thought you might enjoy it.
It’s long but worth it.
I don’t know how this woman got my info but she left me an almost incoherent voicemail yesterday. She called again today. I missed her and called her back.
Me: Hi, my name is Kevin. You left me a message and want to talk about a web site?
Woman: Well I don’t really have ti… I’ve got… Well, okay. I guess we can talk.
Me: Great. So, it sounded like you had some questions about a web site for your business? What does your business do?
Woman: I have some questions about the web.
Me: Okay, what’s the name of your business.
Woman: Is web sites all you do?
Me: No, I’m a web developer and a marketing consultant also.
Me: I build web sites, help clients create and send email marketing, build software applications and…
Woman: (Interrupts) What’s email marketing?
Me: Basically it’s sending email messages to your clients and colleagues to promote your business. Does your business…
Woman: (Interrupts) I want to know about Google.
Me: Okay, what do you…
Woman: (Interrupts) When you go to Google how does stuff get on there?
Me: Well, Google reads your web site and catalogs all that information…
Woman: (Interrupts) No, I’m not talking about Google. I’m talking about all the text.
Me: Um…do you mean when you type something into Google and they show you search results for that term?
Woman: No, I’m talking about the text you see. The TEXT!
Me: What text are you talking about?
Woman: (Getting frustrated) The text! The text you see there.
Me: … What does the text look like?
Woman: (More frustrated) It’s text about people! Like if you type in a name and it shows you text about that person. How does that text get there?
Me: Well, that’s not actually Google’s information. The text could be from any number of web sites that Google has searched.
Woman: (Still more frustrated) No! I’m asking about the text. How does the text about the person get there. Like paragraphs of text about a person.
Me: Well, without seeing exactly what you’re talking about, I’m not sure I could say.
Woman: (Obviously annoyed) It’s the text you see about a person. The text!
Me: I really can’t say. I’m not sure what text you’re seeing but it could have gotten on the web in any number of ways. I’d have to see it to say how it happened.
Woman: (Getting pissed) You don’t know what you’re talking about!
Me: Hm, I’d like to help you but you’re not describing what you’re seeing very well so I can’t say.
Woman: (Grunts. Very frustrated.) I’ve got to call you back. I’ve got a *click*
Me: (Stunned silence. Puts on tinfoil hat.)
You just can’t make this stuff up. Thanks for sharing, Kevin!